There’s a commercial running on TV currently that has caught my attention a few times over the past few weeks. Perhaps you’ve seen it? It shows a person describing to the camera what they don’t particularly like about themselves. One guy talks about his face being too round, his checks being to puffy and his overall body frame being too slight. Other people go through the same exercise. What these folks don’t realize, is at the same time each of them are sharing their list of imperfections, there are other people on the opposite side of a wall who can also see them (but they can’t hear what they are saying). They look at each person carefully and begin to describe everything positive they see. Quite interestingly, the people who describe what they saw in the first man, said he had a very friendly, caring face, with really nice high cheek bones and seemed in great shape. Each person was looking at the same person, at the same time, yet saw them very differently. When they shared the positive comments with each individual, they were quite surprised and very touched by how other people saw them, compared to how they see themselves.
There’s probably been a time when you’ve received a comment and came back with a response such as, “Oh, this…. it’s old, but thank you” (or some similar response that discounts the compliment being given). Why do we do that?
I’ve read that how receptive we are to compliments is a reflection of our self-esteem and deep feelings of self-worth. Specifically, as described in the TV scenario above, compliments can make people with low self-esteem feel uncomfortable because they contradict their own self-views. People actively seek to verify their own perceptions of themselves, whether those are positive or negative.
I love what Psalms 139:13-14 says…
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made…
We’ve all heard the saying, “God doesn’t make mistakes”, but perhaps we’ve thought as we look in the mirror, well, maybe just this one time. Reality vividly reminds us that we are not perfect in how we look or how we act. But there is a real and definite reason that none of that matters. What matters is how God sees us! Fearfully and wonderfully made! We just need to truly believe that.
When I was in elementary school, probably about sixth grade, our Pastor conducted an exercise with all of us that had such an impact on me, I recall it to this day. We were all in a circle, sitting on the floor, and he had placed a pile of coins in the center. He asked each one of us to take one coin that we felt represented our worth. I sat still for a few minutes and watched as several of the kids in the circle picked up a quarter or even a 50 cent piece (which we had back then!). As I watched them, something inside told me that I wasn’t as worthy as each of them, so I picked up a dime. When everyone had completed selecting their coins, the Pastor asked me why I had selected the dime. Although I don’t recall exactly what I said, I do know it was a list of the reasons I felt a dime better represented who I was and what I had to give, especially compared to others. (Sigh). He did a masterful job of using that opportunity to build me up and I remember a few others did as well. The Pastor went on to use me as the example to his lesson, which was to remind us that 1) we often see our faults and we see others’ best traits and 2) that our God created us in His image, so we should see ourselves in that way.
I likely left that experience with my head held higher. Like I mentioned, I’ve recalled that day many, many times over the years. Often when something has caused me to question my worth in some way. In the last few years, I’ve also turned to another of my favorite songs and will sing it in affirmation. It’s by Chris Tomlin, a compelling song with a title we are very familiar with, “Jesus Loves Me”. In the chorus he sings…
I couldn’t run, couldn’t run from His presence, I couldn’t run, couldn’t run from His arms
Jesus, He loves me, He loves me, He is for me, Jesus, how can it be, He loves me, He is for me
Yes, my Jesus is for me. And He is for you. We cannot run from His presence or His arms.
Amen!